Redemptio – Punishment through darkness PART II: Ears and Nose (carelessness)

Ears and Nose (carelessness)


 

I woke with the sound of thunder and cold drops of rain

The wind was cold and chilled my skin and bone

I raised my left arm and gazed at the flat wound which once formed my hand

I let out a scream

 

‘Why you doing this to me – god help me please…

Is it for I have abandoned you?

Is it for I no longer look for your grace at times of turmoil?

For I swear with all my heart I shall embrace your grace

Forgive me lord’

 

I started to cry violently curled on the floor

Strangely the solid floor for which I landed seemed now cold and soft

I looked up for response and around me filled with darkness

The clouds formed a circle of gloom and poured black rain

Violently pouring I closed my eyes for I am alone in this nightmare

To open and find myself floating higher

A strange noise comes from my left

I turn to realise there is a cloud unlike those around me

This cloud illuminating white

The closer it got the harder it became to keep my sight

A breeze blew the cloud formed what appeared like words

The words appeared to be written in ashes read:

 

‘Feed me with two senses of thou choice and the path shall open before you’

 

I read the message attentively trying to figure its meaning

The winds started to pick up

The cloud for which I was on disappeared

Yet the saint bright cloud had not moved

I stared at the words in ashes but my vision was blurred

I looked left and right- what was once a sea of cotton like clouds

Had now become a single gulp of darkness

Like a desert at night but without the caressing sound of the gentle breeze or,

The bright illuminating stars

 

No – this was far more sinister there was no sound, no spot of beauty just pure darkness

With the cloud that once held me in its brace absent

I found myself walking in air without any sense of direction or guidance (his lost)

I take a few steps trembling in fear

Suddenly a burst of light blinds my eye I try to look but my eyes cannot open in such illumination

After a few seconds the brightness stops and darkness resumes

This time however something strange happened

I stood for a moment almost frozen

My eyes fixed, on what appeared like the moon

Although not like I know it

Is red with scars rather than holes as it appears from a distance

I could not help it…

Tears uncontrollably pour from the sides of my eyes

As I drop on my knees

The ashes on the bright cloud start excreting fumes as if rein lighted

Turning red to match the moon

A force starts to draw me closer to the moon

The closer it draws me the greater the heat

As it pulls me towards itself the ashes and the cloud follow burning brighter:

 

‘Feed me with two senses of thou choice and the path shall open before you’

 

I try to break free from the grip but the more I move the tighter the grip

My lungs feel as if they are about to collapse

The heat makes breathing unbearable

I think for a moment about the passage reading it out loud in panic

Senses…

The only senses I could think of are my eyes, ears, tongue

It suddenly occurred to me

To stop burning in the moon I must sacrifice two of my senses

Becoming aware of this my left hand had loosened

It felt like a sick TV show

I had gotten so close to the flames my skin started to peel and crack from the heat

I had to think fast – I chose my ears and nose

 

‘Good now feed them or be the hunted’

 

My left hand shaking I decided to start with my ear

I started with my left

I grabbed the top of my outer ear and closed my eyes hard and started to pull

I kept pulling until I felt a tear

Rather heard

I pulled and with each tear the tremble in my hand increased

I had to stop

The blood was rushing down the side of my face pouring onto the abyss

It was as if my blood was being consumed by the darkness

My ear half way ripped from my head

I took a deep breath

And another

And pulled with force the pinna tearing a big chunk of my cheek skin along with the ear

I threw it towards the direction of the blood moon and a loud screech was made as if to approve of my self-mutation

I did the same with my right ear the pinna this time taking a bigger chunk of my cheek I threw it at the moon like a dog yearning for food

It threw back another loud screech but my ear canal filled with blood the sound seemed less intense

 

‘Good’

Said a deep voice

‘Hither thou must finish what thee started bequeath the second flesh to sacrifice cursed one’

 

I decided for my nose

I put my index finger in my right nostril and my middle finger in my left

Now almost deaf from the blood in my ears

I pulled upwards in violent motion

Screaming and panting in pain but unable to hear myself

I kept pulling until I felt the columella rip from my top lip I decided to keep going pulling back until I felt the flesh completely removed from the nose bone

With little energy left I threw the slap of skin towards the blood moon and fainted into the darkness.

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